Bob’s Amazing (and Possibly Unbelievable) Love Story

BOB PLOPPED DOWN ON A STOOL AT HIS USUAL BAR AND DECLARED, “My wife Suzie’s gotta love me more than any woman’s ever loved a guy!” “How come you say that?” the bartender chimed in. “See, last week,” Bob went on, “I had to call in sick for a couple of days…” 👇 CONTINUATION IN THE FIRST COMMENT”…I had to call in sick for a couple of days, right? Figured I had the flu or somethin’. Suzie, she went into overdrive. First day, she’s bringin’ me soup, checkin’ my temperature every hour, making sure I was tucked in comfy. Totally normal wife stuff, right?”

The bartender nodded, wiping down the counter. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

Bob leaned in conspiratorially. “But get this. Second day, I was feeling a bit better, right? Still playing it up a little, you know, for the sympathy. Suzie, she comes in with this… contraption. Looks like somethin’ out of a Frankenstein movie. Wires, tubes, flashing lights. I swear it even had a little steam whistle.”

The bartender chuckled. “A steam whistle?”

“Steam whistle! She says, ‘Bob, honey, I’ve been up all night inventing! It’s the ‘Husband Health Hydrator 3000′! It’s gonna pump you full of electrolytes, vitamins, and pure, unadulterated love! It’ll cure you in no time!'”

Bob paused for dramatic effect, taking a swig of his beer. “And you know what? She actually hooked me up to the thing! Said she’d been watchin’ medical shows all night and figured it out. It was mostly tubes stuck to a humidifier and a blender, but the point is… she built it! For me! Because she couldn’t stand to see me even a little bit sniffly! Tell me another woman’s ever loved a guy enough to build him a Frankensteinian love-hydrating machine when he’s got a sniffle. Go on, I dare ya!”

The bartender grinned, shaking his head. “Nope, Bob, you got me there. Suzie sounds like a keeper alright.”